Wise apes really aren’t lying when they tell you this is a once in FOREVER opportunity. It MUST not be fucked up, and everyone but the shorts will benefit 🙌💎🚀

Howdy, apes and apettes. It’s been a while! Not sure how many of you will remember me from our prior subreddit’s glory days, but with the exceptional DD being put forward by the likes of /u/atobitt, /u/jsmar18, and attention from /u/dlauer and Dr. T, my distant Wall St experience is no longer necessary. However, I did want to drop in with a quick dose of confirmation bias after this most annoying of Mondays. And that, of course, is to remind you of one of our months-old warcries that has since fallen out of favor: All shorts must cover.

I am well aware that, while most hands here have undoubtedly been forged into sheer impenetrability by now, brains so perfectly round are a little more difficult to pummel into the acceptance of fact. Every single-share buy routed through a dark pool. Every DTCC rule kicked down the road. Every shill post. Every threatening private message. Every congressional hearing where bushes aren’t just beaten around, but are apparently nonexistent. Every Cramer meltdown. Every instance of Robinhood fuckery.

On their own, any of these things can and should be dismissed as inconsequential. Together, they are harder to stomach. But while I can’t comment on the current state of affairs to the same level of depth or topicality as someone like /u/dlauer, I did spend enough time on the Street to be able to assure you that all of this is happening for a reason.

These are the death throes of a doomed way of doing business. As you all well know by now, the big boys on the other side of this trade have a nigh-incomprehensible amount of Fuckery Implements. What you might have also picked up on, and why we are all still here diamond-dicking the ultimate circle-jerk of solidarity, is that none of these tools, or any combination thereof, can or will extricate shorts from their positions. These are all tools of avoidance. Prevention. Ensuring that such a situation is minimized. Ensuring that such a situation is avoided in the future. But that’s it.

There are no rulings or tools or deception or FUD that will undo what they’ve done. I understand it’s counterintuitive to think that, because even amongst old Finance colleagues I’ve spoken to, the prevailing sentiment is disbelief. “How could they be that stupid, even if they thought it was a sure thing?” Indeed. And yet here we are.

And since I’m here writing a post already, let’s also take a moment to dispel the notion that there is precedent for the SEC/Government stepping in to “shut this down”. If Burry, Baum, Brownfield, or the perennial favorite Greg Lippmann (I’M JACKED TO THE TITS) could’ve been shut out, they would have. They’re legends now, but at the time, they had no more clout in the industry than any ape, realistically.

I do truly find it endearing that so many people here are still willing to theorize about specific date targets, and I no longer criticize this because I really do believe diamond hands will prevail no matter what, and that not even a never-ending hype cycle will stop apes. However, I must remind you to be patient. Stay just as angry, hungry, and determined as you are, but also be patient. Because while they can knock this down, drag this out, kick the can, punt the baby, defenestrate the roomba, they CANNOT get out. If there was a way out, they would’ve taken it long before retail interest reached a fever pitch. Since the end of grandfathering in 2008, there are simply zero legal options to resolve this that don’t end in catastrophic and permanent lack of faith in our markets. Unless. Apes. Sell. So……don’t? 😁

One last thing:

It seems a particularly popular form of FUD these days to harp on “how bad this will be for the average citizen”. I’ll dispense with most of the traditional responses to this. “DTCC has insurance”, “It’s not that expensive with geometric mean”, etc. The impact on the average citizen will be nowhere near as great as the average shill or hedgie would have you believe, as there’s not a legitimate housing crisis underpinning the entire goddamn thing and we’re not offloading garbage on sovereign wealth funds. It’s Gamestop, for god’s sake. But I digress. Let’s pretend for a moment that it is as bad as they say.

Let’s pretend for a moment that the Fed printer goes BRRRRR and the American public is on the hook for…let’s say….4 trillion. A nice 5m+ per share exit. So….roughly twice that nothing stimmy we just got. Roughly what we’ve printed this year already. Sure, retirement portfolios will take a hit. For most people not right at retirement age, the ensuing rebound will square their portfolios, and for those that can’t wait it out….well, their community/region is now flush with tens/hundreds/thousands of apes looking to help out. But the most important thing, by far, is that the cycle of bullshit goes away. This kind of scenario HAS to happen in order for the general public to be protected from themselves. A set-it-and-forget-it 401k is always going to be the primary bagholder in these situations, and only one bad enough for Wall St will scare them into behaving even REMOTELY responsibly.

TLDR: The squeeze is inevitable. The only steps that would prevent said squeeze:

• Have never been taken before.

• Would annihilate global faith in our markets, likely forever.

• Will. Not. Happen.

Those living in abject fear (the shorts) will do their absolute worst to shake your faith. With their considerable resources, a lot will seem scary. It isn’t. Because you’ve already won. And this is what’s desperately needed to protect global retail investors from this type of predatory behavior. Only when a “revered” firm of sociopaths gets curbstomped back to the fundraising stage by retail will this level of fuckery be ameliorated.

Stay strong, stay mad, stay vigilant, you beautiful, stupid, stupidly beautiful mother fuckers. As the immortal Penguin Prison said the first time around, “YOU GOTTA SQUEEZE, SQUEEZE!” See you on the other side. 🙌💎🚀❤

YOU FUCK WITH MY MONEY, AND YOU’LL BE SORRY!