| Author | Source |
|---|---|
| u/2008UniGrad |
Ok Apes! I know what you are thinking - ‘I’m so bored, the weekend sucks, how much longer to Monday?’. Grab your crayon sticks and let’s try and grow some brain wrinkles in the process. I have just what the Dr. ordered to counter your boredom!
There are boring responsible things you need to start thinking about before and after the rocket takes off. Why? Because people who are known to have $$$ (e.g. announced they won the lottery) have grandkids kidnapped and threatened and worse. Some winners are killed. See this for extra brain wrinkles. Yes it’s long, but don’t worry, I summarized.
Before Rocket Launches
Don’t tell anyone you haven’t already. Anoymity is your first and best defence. Be the millionaire next door that no one realizes is a millionaire. A Lambo, other than a rental experience, does not help here.
Start researching likely Lawyers and Accountants you will use post squeeze. You want BIG firms who will have no idea who you are, other than their paycheck.
Write a will, or at least start thinking about it.
Figure out your likely tax rate and write it down.
Write down your exit strategy. Yes, I mean on paper. Psychology says writing things down helps you remember things. Maybe even make it like a contract with yourself to prevent paper handing. At the very least, open two new tabs for the important DDs on a non-Reddit site: https://web.archive.org/web/20210309074023if_/https://www.reddit.com/r/GME/comments/m073v6/exit_strategy_dd_a_comprehensive_guide_to/ , https://web.archive.org/web/20210319103103if_/https://www.reddit.com/r/GME/comments/m0r4kg/gme_exit_strategy_here_is_what_i_not_we_i_am/
Figure out which stocks you like less than GME, but would want to buy if the stock market happens to go onna fire sale when GME makes moon trip. Boring Boomer things good here. e.g. Vanguard Index Funds. Best bet is things that go down lots but still decent companies. Don’t buy Apple if market is down 30% and Apple is down 1.3%.
Figure out how much you need to put aside to live on its interest. Here is good resource: https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/05/29/how-much-do-i-need-for-retirement/
Start writing down what you want to do after. e.g. Big # minus taxes, minus your new retirement fund, then figure out percentages for the remaining. How much to family? How much to charity? How much to cool stuff? How much to reinvest in GME?
Start thinking about what you want to do in the future. Like, 2 years in the future after you’ve finished partying. Typically, humans like to have a purpose. Do you want to start a biz? (Warning! Lotsa work! Recommend this book: https://fixthisnext.com/) Work for a Charity? Change politics?
Turn on 2FA or MFA for your financial accounts. Don’t re-use Passwords. See this comic for good ideas: https://xkcd.com/936/
Pick out the colour of your new car (or bike for those in the Netherlands - ❤ from 🍁)
After Moon Landing
First rule also applies here. Keep a low profile. I will be removing the ‘X’ badge from my Tesla for instance.
Celebrate, but in a restrained way. Fancy Dinner? Maybe you want to eat some 🎶Kraft Dinner with that Fancy Dijon Ketchup🎶? (sorry I know you like Ramen better, couldn’t resist)
Start contacting lawyers, accountants, insurance (particularly for you American Apes out there - don’t lose your tendies because of a staged accident!)
Is stock market onna fire sale? Maybe reinvest tendies on sale stocks!
Don’t tell people until lawyer is onboarded and advising you for your unique situation
Have accountant give you value after taxes and retirement fund. Start to work your plan.
Did you tell people before you read this post? Figure out a good line ~> “I sold too [soon/late] and missed the peak, but I made enough to pay off my car and mortgage” This is good because it is understandable and likely to be true - the “and never work again” is silent. Practice telling it to the mirror because you want it believable.
Attend 1 year anniversary of the MOASS. Location TBD, but Wall Street likely too obvious and potentially a target. I am thinking Disney’s Animal Kingdom best. Pretty sure they sell chicken tendies there.
Take care of yourself, your loved ones and go forth and make this world a better place! Don’t forget to post about your good deeds here!
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
TL;DR: Tesla better than Lambo. When your wife’s BF makes you sleep outside, Tesla can keep you warm all night without poisoning or killing you in the process.
EDIT: Additional wisdom from the comments below. 🦍🦍🦍🦍💪💪💪
The FIRE guys at r/financialindependence are boring but have good advice. Other ‘interesting’ subs include r/dividends, r/fatfire and r/bogleheads .
Lawyers and accountants (of the tax or personal type) should not be local (unless you live in a capital city) - they should be used to dealing with the figures you will have
Consider the risk of quitting your job and buying shiny things. Abruptly quitting will cause people to ask questions. Best to ease into it (GME Mooning + “I’m outta here” = cover blown) or have a reasonable answer before you pull the trigger
Add your kid(s) or parents to your brokers’ “ account beneficiary” list.
Re: Wills: look at revocable living trust and charitable remainder trust. A will is cheap to create, but you get what you pay for.
Is medicaid a factor for you or a loved one? Look into Special Needs Trust. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/special-needs-trust.asp
Look into identity theft protection measures.
Clicking the ‘Save’ button right below will make this easier to find for future reference.
Check out the content from Michael Bazzell - How To Dissapear Online and elsewhere.
Do IRL peoples know your Reddit handle? Do you use your Reddit name elsewhere? Maybe it’s time for a change. There’s a reason this account was created in the end of Jan…
EDIT 2A:The answer on the lawyering stuff!
If you mean somebody to help you protect your money, help with taxes and investments - definitely a lawyer specialized in asset protection. This type of lawyer is specialized in company forming, off shore incorporation, investing etc. I would also find a really experienced tax advisor, depending on your country.
If you mean somebody to help you file a suit against institutions and companies like DTCC, Shitadel etc. for market manipulation - definitely a lawyer specialized in both criminal proceedings and damage claims for fraud/manipulation victims.
The best thing to do in situation like this, especially in USA but is pretty much the same for most countries, is finding a big Law firm with long record list of similar cases. Big law firms have excellent contacts, lobbyists and huge network of associates capable of preparring complicated cases like these.